The Greatest Movie Douchebags Ever
Nice guys finish last, particularly on this list. Here's to the characters who show why being a total a-hole can be such a beautiful thing....
10. Caledon "Cal" Hockley
Billy Zane, Titanic, 1997
Ah, to be rich, smug, and brain-damaged! Cal is a constant source of erroneous wisdom (seems that Picasso art is a good investment). And when the iceberg hits, he forces his way onto a lifeboat. Hey, those women and children had it coming.
Best line: "God himself could not sink this ship!"
9. Mark
Craig Kilborn, Old School, 2003
Many men cheat on their girlfriends. Mark, however, is the only one to convince a guy who truly loves his gal to help cover up his owninfidelity (well, it is guy code). He also has a knack for talking to children: "What are you, retarded?"
Best line: "That's something chicks do. You're not a chick, are you? OK, good talk."
8. Kenny "Pig Vomit" Rushton
Paul Giamatti, Private Parts, 1997
Giamatti was 100 percent scumbag as the shrieking radio exec determined to get Howard Stern off the air. He fails in the movie but somehow succeeded in real life, getting Howie shipped off to Sirius with barely $500 million. You go, Pig Vomit!
Best line: "You are the motherf**king Antichrist!"
7. Chet Donnelly
Bill Paxton, Weird Science, 1985
Chet's just like your older brother, provided your brother is a psychopath with military training. He dishes out the sibling degradation until computer-generated genie Kelly LeBrock turns him into a talking pile of @@#*…and even then stays feisty. This is a supreme %**%$%!.
Best line: "You two donkey dicks couldn't get laid in a morgue!"
6. Biff Tannen
Thomas F. Wilson, Back to the Future, 1985
Anyone can bully a nerd. Only Biff could bully a nerd and the nerd's time-traveling son from the future. While not the best driver, he shows amazing longevity in humiliating two generations of McFlys over 30 years. He's the bully Nolan Ryan.
Best line: "Why don't you make like a tree…and get out of here."
5. Fred O'Bannion
Ben Affleck, Dazed and Confused, 1993
Before Gigli and Jersey Girl, Ben Affleck was a complete %**%$%!. His football player with an obsession for paddling freshmen is obnoxious, in your face, and-this adjective hasn't been applied to Ben Affleck for years-entertaining. Come back to the dark side, Ben. You belong here.
Best line: "Y'all ready to bust some ass?"
4. Dr. Frederick Chilton
Anthony Heald, The Silence of the Lambs, 1991
Less concerned with stopping a serial killer than scoring with FBI cutie Clarice Starling, Doc Chilton makes cannibalistic murder seem reasonable.
Best line: "You know, we get a lot of detectives here, but I must say I can't ever remember one as attractive."
3. Tinkerbell
Ludivine Sagnier, Peter Pan, 2003
What's worse than an obsessive girlfriend? An obsessive girlfriend who can fly! Determined to hold on to her man at any cost, Tinkerbell stalks Peter Pan relentlessly, nearly kills Wendy, and then expects everyone to believe in fairies and bring her back to life. Not gonna happen, Tink.
Best line: Shrill high-pitched noises.
2. Harry Ellis
Hart Bochner, Die Hard, 1988
When is a hostage not worth rescuing? When he's Harry. Upset that the rescue is slow (a coked-up yuppie has places to be!), he goes to the terrorists to make stuff happen. Naturally, they shoot him.
Best line: "Hey, babe, I negotiate million-dollar deals for breakfast. I think I can handle this Eurotrash."
1. Doug Neidermeyer
Mark Metcalf, Animal House, 1978
The ROTC can supply invaluable training for future soldiers…or it can provide a !@!!!*#*! leader endless chances to humiliate cadets. This is not to suggest that Neidermeyer isn't a true patriot, for the last scene notes he nobly served in Vietnam until being killed by his own men.
Best line: "You're all worthless and weak! Now drop and give me 20!"
The Runners Up:
Bill Murray as Ernie McCracken in Kingpin
David Dunn as A-Cup in Orgazmo
Paul Gleason as Principle Richard Vernon in The Breakfast Club
Kevin Heffernan as Officer Rod Farva in Super Troopers
Christopher McDonald as Shooter McGavin in Happy Gilmore
Gary Cole as Bill Lumbergh in Office Space
R. Lee Ermey as Sergeant Hartman in Full Metal Jacket
Jeffrey Jones as Principle Rooney in Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Ted McGinley as Stan Gable in Revenge of the Nerds
Ted Knight as Judge Smalls in Caddyshack
Read Entire Article Here
Nice guys finish last, particularly on this list. Here's to the characters who show why being a total a-hole can be such a beautiful thing....
10. Caledon "Cal" Hockley
Billy Zane, Titanic, 1997
Ah, to be rich, smug, and brain-damaged! Cal is a constant source of erroneous wisdom (seems that Picasso art is a good investment). And when the iceberg hits, he forces his way onto a lifeboat. Hey, those women and children had it coming.
Best line: "God himself could not sink this ship!"
9. Mark
Craig Kilborn, Old School, 2003
Many men cheat on their girlfriends. Mark, however, is the only one to convince a guy who truly loves his gal to help cover up his owninfidelity (well, it is guy code). He also has a knack for talking to children: "What are you, retarded?"
Best line: "That's something chicks do. You're not a chick, are you? OK, good talk."
8. Kenny "Pig Vomit" Rushton
Paul Giamatti, Private Parts, 1997
Giamatti was 100 percent scumbag as the shrieking radio exec determined to get Howard Stern off the air. He fails in the movie but somehow succeeded in real life, getting Howie shipped off to Sirius with barely $500 million. You go, Pig Vomit!
Best line: "You are the motherf**king Antichrist!"
7. Chet Donnelly
Bill Paxton, Weird Science, 1985
Chet's just like your older brother, provided your brother is a psychopath with military training. He dishes out the sibling degradation until computer-generated genie Kelly LeBrock turns him into a talking pile of @@#*…and even then stays feisty. This is a supreme %**%$%!.
Best line: "You two donkey dicks couldn't get laid in a morgue!"
6. Biff Tannen
Thomas F. Wilson, Back to the Future, 1985
Anyone can bully a nerd. Only Biff could bully a nerd and the nerd's time-traveling son from the future. While not the best driver, he shows amazing longevity in humiliating two generations of McFlys over 30 years. He's the bully Nolan Ryan.
Best line: "Why don't you make like a tree…and get out of here."
5. Fred O'Bannion
Ben Affleck, Dazed and Confused, 1993
Before Gigli and Jersey Girl, Ben Affleck was a complete %**%$%!. His football player with an obsession for paddling freshmen is obnoxious, in your face, and-this adjective hasn't been applied to Ben Affleck for years-entertaining. Come back to the dark side, Ben. You belong here.
Best line: "Y'all ready to bust some ass?"
4. Dr. Frederick Chilton
Anthony Heald, The Silence of the Lambs, 1991
Less concerned with stopping a serial killer than scoring with FBI cutie Clarice Starling, Doc Chilton makes cannibalistic murder seem reasonable.
Best line: "You know, we get a lot of detectives here, but I must say I can't ever remember one as attractive."
3. Tinkerbell
Ludivine Sagnier, Peter Pan, 2003
What's worse than an obsessive girlfriend? An obsessive girlfriend who can fly! Determined to hold on to her man at any cost, Tinkerbell stalks Peter Pan relentlessly, nearly kills Wendy, and then expects everyone to believe in fairies and bring her back to life. Not gonna happen, Tink.
Best line: Shrill high-pitched noises.
2. Harry Ellis
Hart Bochner, Die Hard, 1988
When is a hostage not worth rescuing? When he's Harry. Upset that the rescue is slow (a coked-up yuppie has places to be!), he goes to the terrorists to make stuff happen. Naturally, they shoot him.
Best line: "Hey, babe, I negotiate million-dollar deals for breakfast. I think I can handle this Eurotrash."
1. Doug Neidermeyer
Mark Metcalf, Animal House, 1978
The ROTC can supply invaluable training for future soldiers…or it can provide a !@!!!*#*! leader endless chances to humiliate cadets. This is not to suggest that Neidermeyer isn't a true patriot, for the last scene notes he nobly served in Vietnam until being killed by his own men.
Best line: "You're all worthless and weak! Now drop and give me 20!"
The Runners Up:
Bill Murray as Ernie McCracken in Kingpin
David Dunn as A-Cup in Orgazmo
Paul Gleason as Principle Richard Vernon in The Breakfast Club
Kevin Heffernan as Officer Rod Farva in Super Troopers
Christopher McDonald as Shooter McGavin in Happy Gilmore
Gary Cole as Bill Lumbergh in Office Space
R. Lee Ermey as Sergeant Hartman in Full Metal Jacket
Jeffrey Jones as Principle Rooney in Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Ted McGinley as Stan Gable in Revenge of the Nerds
Ted Knight as Judge Smalls in Caddyshack
Read Entire Article Here
